This France-Inspired Life: The Pros and Cons of Having a Baby in France

My simple (but free) room on the maternity ward.

This website is all about France-Inspired Tales. Actually living in France, however, comes with a lot of daily logistics and practical decision-making before the imagination can be allowed to take flight and dream up those fanciful novels. France-Inspired Life articles are straightforward, factual stories about our life in France. I know that every situation is different, but I'll just describe events as they happened for me and if they can indeed help you or yours, then all the better! Enjoy!

I've gotten a few questions from loyal followers (another thanks to all of you!) about my experience having Josy in France. Having a baby abroad is certainly not a typical life experience but many, many people do it every day and it can be a positive one! Here's a little about mine:

The Pros

1. The cost – I still can’t get over how much “free stuff” I got while pregnant and after having my baby (well, yes, it comes out of my taxes, but what a relief not to worry about extra bills during those nine months and well after!). Monthly check-ins with the midwife (all free) always included the Do you need anything? question at the end while her pen hovered over the prescription paper. Medicine, compression stockings, a back brace, you name it—it was all free during my pregnancy. I also received seven “birth preparation” (séances de preparationà l’accouchement) with a midwife for free. These one-hour sessions included topics such as birthing positions, what to expect at the hospital, and how to tie a sling; some were more useful than others but they were reassuring and it was a nice activity to share with my husband.

Delivery and post-partum care was also paid for, including:

- any medication I needed at the hospital

-two visits by the midwife at my home to check on me and Baby (reimbursed 100% up to 12-days post-birth)

-10 sessions of physical therapy for my back

Side note: For the kid, up until the age of sixteen, the 20 mandatory doctor’s visits and vaccines are 100% reimbursed by the “Sécurité Sociale”, the public health care program.

2. Maternity leave, parental leave, adoption leave – I don’t need to say much here, as you probably already know that France provides sixteen weeks of paid maternity leave for the first and second children (26 weeks for third child, 34 weeks for twins and 46 for triplets or more!). Six of those weeks for the first child take place before birth. Because of a painful back issue, I was able to add two weeks of “congé pathologique” before my maternity leave, bringing my total paid maternity leave period up to 18 weeks.

As a licensed teacher, I was also able to add six months of non-paid parental leave (congé parental d’éducation), and received a small stipend from the CAF of almost 400 euros per month, a benefit available to anyone no matter how low or high your household income.

3. Low-key pregnancy- I mostly wanted time to myself to relax during my pregnancy, especially since the last two months were physically challenging. I was grateful that my family organized a wonderful baby shower on Zoom from the US (with my sister flying over to bring the gifts). I was also grateful that I could use living in France to skip on many of the pre-pregnancy fanfare that Americans love, such as elaborate photo shoots and gender reveals. The French have started doing baby showers, but in general, the pre-birth celebrations are low-key. While everyone’s pregnancy is different and everyone wants to celebrate their pregnancy in different ways (I absolutely love participating in other peoples’ gender reveals and seeing their pictures!), this calmer period was fine for me.

The Cons

1. The homesickness – Oh goodness, the weeks following the birth was the worst period of homesickness I ever experienced. Here she was, this beautiful, tiny, perfect-to-me being that had finally arrived on French soil, reminding me that not only would there be an age gap between us, but also a cultural one. No matter how hard I try, she will never be 100% French nor 100% American, but always this international go-between. While our lifestyle is a blessing, it will also be a challenge, because her childhood will not be like her parents’. Of course, that could happen in any family, far from home or not, and my husband and I are up for the challenge, but for a few months after her birth, I had intense homesickness, longing for all those childhood memories and traditions for myself, not to mention wishing I had more family members around me to hel out. I suppose missing one's family and childhood is a very typical first-time mother experience, close to home or not, and luckily my husband is wonderfully supportative, so I do power through most of the time!

2. An obsession with weight – The doctors and midwives here are strangely obsessed with weight and even the slightest weight gain, even in underweight or trim women. Of course, obesity is not the goal, and of course one should remain healthy, but I had the impression that the French medical system discourages weight gain during pregnancy. First, a personal anecdote: At five months pregnant, I had gained “a lot” (but still normal) amount of weight, but as someone who was intensely physically active my whole life and knew my body’s dietary needs quite well, I was fine with it and even feeling great about it! In fact, my BMI was still within the “normal” range for a non-pregnant woman, but the midwife’s reaction was nothing short of horror when she calculated the gain. Her advice included eliminating fruit from my diet and avoid eating between meals at all costs. She told me point-blank that I would be unhappy with my body after birth. What a nice way to encourage body acceptance in new mothers!

Some books and blogs will point out in admiration how French women stay so trim after pregnancy, but please be aware that some are dieting or smoking (yes, I knew an intelligent and highly-educated woman who smoked her entire pregnancy for fear of gaining weight) while pregnant; and almost all of my pregnant French friends are intensely stressed out about gaining weight, to a point where they’re not even thinking about the miracle their body is creating. Again, this is perhaps just my personal point of view and maybe I am a little overly-sensitive on the issue as an American...

Conclusion: Overall, the experience of my first-time pregnancy in France was quite positive with the few drawbacks mentioned above!

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